Hi, I am here sitting on my bed and writing a blog. I don’t know what will I be writing down because I am typing it with no plans or ideas. Which means, I am writing messages that came from my heart and I wouldn’t be lying to say if I already feel like crying. This is for the best, I would like to say, if you are my friend, thank you.
So, 2017 was a total shit. With that I mean, it has a lot of ups and downs. It made me laugh, cry, smile and frown as well. I know that, 2017 would be a hard year because I am sitting for the biggest exam. I never thought that it would even make me depressed and cry in my room. It does hurt me a lot to recall back things that happened in 2017, but nevertheless, it taught me a lot of things that happens in just one year. One day, I am smiling. The next day, I would cry. It was totally, creeping out. How 2017 make me feel trashy, it also makes me feel like my life doesn’t even get better at all.
And with that, I would also love to thank my friends, they know who they are. My family, especially my sister, she’d probably know herself as well. Even, all the people that I used to talk to. I know how hard it is to deal with me, but thank you so much for keeping up with me. I never knew, how much supports you would give to me but I can’t do anything than to say thank you. There’s nothing much that I can do, I know that I have such cruel mouth that would talk to you in the most rude way. But that is just how I am, and I don’t know if I am ever gonna change that. This is not the new year new me resolution. This is the one that I have been wanting to do, but I couldn’t because I don’t have the heart to do it honestly. But since, this is for the best in between us, I made it for my friends.
I can’t stop saying thank you to you guys, because all of the supports that you have given towards me. I don’t really know if you guys like to have me, or dislike me in any kind of way. I just want to say sorry if I ever make your life hard, and I am also sorry for being a burden towards you. I don’t know how to make people happy, I don’t know how to make you feel better. I know that I have ever hurt you, I know that I would always be so cruel to you. I did jokes, but sometimes I know how my jokes would be so hurtful that I even regret it. However, thank you for teaching me the subject that I am weak at. Thank you, for keeping up with my struggles. Thank you, for willing to be my friend.
Now that 2018, has started recently. I just want to say Happy New Year to you guys who are reading it. And to my friends, I know that I am being selfish and maybe, rude. But, if I seem to be not a help to you, please do leave me. If you are not willing to be my friend again, I would appreciate that and I would let you leave me. I wouldn’t stop those who would leave me behind, but I would actually let you go. It may seems like I am doing a love letter, but I am not. It hurts me to see how much changes in my friendship that we couldn’t have spend a time together. But, thank you for always being there for me.
Thank you for being able to listen and to talk to me, thank you for giving your time to me as well. I have never wanted to make myself look or sound bad, but it just makes me feel sad that there are people who stays and yet got hurt because of me. I don’t feel okay sometimes, but I do appreciate the moment where one would text me saying
“Are you alright?” back in the days.
Besides that, I do wish your 2018 become the year that cure you. I wish that you will spend your 2018, happily with your beloved ones. I know that times are ticking fast, but one day, you will actually find yourself back again to normal. Don’t give up on everything, always have faith in yourself. Thank you for everything.
Happy New Year,
Family, friends.. and 11A.
With all the love and supports, thank you once again. Goodbye.