Better By Times

When you let go, you create space for better things to enter your life. Better things are coming.

Some few things, will get better soon enough. All you have to do is, to wait for it. If you asked, wait for what? The days where everything will be fine and that better feelings. I assumed that all happiness or sadness won’t last longer, well not for the whole years of your life. Nothing stays forever, and forever might be a lie. Nevertheless, don’t give up on hoping. Don’t get the negativity take your pride away, and shut your world to the light. Making you live in the dark side, a side where you wished you never got trapped in it.

Mind will be filled with thoughts, heart will get weaker, eyes will be droopy and your body will get tired. You thought, it’ll be fine and you’re going to be okay living that way. Remember that, it is not healthy at all. The weaker you’ll get, you’re going to act stupid. Few would be stronger, but what if some would try to commit suicide? Taking drugs? It is nothing closer to healthy for being stressed out or in depression. People never know what you’re doing in your room with your weak body. Only god know what you’re doing, and you might be crying up all night— crying quietly, so no one could hear you. Do you think it is fun to cry all night? Perhaps, until your body got dehydrated. No matter how cool you think only because you were used to it, it’s not fun or okay to cry every night. You’re stronger than ever, but you decided to let other people to take care of you thinking that when you cry they will know about it 24/7. They would comfort you until the end of the day, no. We all have seen those people who come and go to us, stay or leave us for someone. No lies, but changing because they found someone new and better than you.

You’re not alone because I am that someone. Someone who cried at night, quietly and I wouldn’t tell anyone that I am crying. I wouldn’t dare myself to make anyone worried about me, sometimes I even feel like I am such a burden to make them feel that way. As I believe that, a pain would make me become someone stronger. Until I knew, the strongest person hides the most tears. If the tears can be kept in a bottle, it would make a water or swimming pool. And yet, the strongest person who hide their own tears away would always smile to public. Never ever showing their weak side outside, but inside it is killing them softly. Trying to be happy is easy, but controlling our tears wouldn’t be easy as being fake. I, a girl who is 17 years old, still wear a mask. A mask that held my sadness back, and shows my happiness out. Flushed cheeks, a forced laugh, a stretch smile, sad eyes but never had the will to cry out loud because people don’t understand how I feel. They will understand me, but never will be in my shoes.

Funny how people want to get better and be happy in life. It’s amazing how people need their own happiness, trying to get better and working their own way to be stronger than they were yesterday. It’s amazing how people decided to move on from their past and becoming a better person by present and future to avoid on making the same mistakes. These people are strong enough, the people who can rely on their own and they can live without those who left them behind. Their chapters were already far ahead those people who walked to another path without tagging their friend and never looked back, they left without a goodbye. No matter at what age you are now, you would feel the same way like everybody else. But never ever think that you are alone, and no one had ever been in your shoes. People used to fit in, but they got the new one. So change for the better.

Dear self, I am stronger than you think you are. The weakness in your thoughts are the power of you becoming stronger. The tiredness of your heart will be the supporter of you changing into someone stronger. The droopy eyes you have will be change to the upturned eyes, or maybe more stronger. Things will change if you make yourself separate from the past that hunts you down as it made you feel worthless. Believe in yourself and love yourself. Make yourself as your first ever priority, don’t lose yourself because of other useless things or for the people who doesn’t mean anything important to you. If you want to stand up by your own, do it. You can stand with your words or legs. They say, you matter. Your voice will always be heard and important. What struggle you the most can be heard by those who would love to help you. Just because you thought everyone left, doesn’t mean the new one would do the same. Some would let you lean on them, and these people are the people who you need to keep for the longest time because you were being appreciated and you should do the same to them. Keep the hatred far away in between friendship or relationship. Don’t get your ego make it more wild and be the reason why people left you alone.

The moment you know you can do it, take the moment and believe that you can do it. Hope that the moment will be the moment where you started to believe that everything hard and impossible will be easy and possible. Cry, but not always. Smile, stick it forever. Laugh, it might be the music to someone’s ear. Lean on if you’re struggling with something. Never push away the people who stay. Remember; you don’t live alone, there are billions of human living under the same sky as you. Breathing different air but still breathing just like you. If the shoes hurts you, change it to the ones that comforts you. Its never too late to change everything. Always remember that everything will be better by times. You just need to wait for it, don’t rush it all. Cheer up, don’t let your crown fall to the ground and make you bow to those who don’t deserves you. You’re the ruler of your own, the owner of your own. Everything about you is always for you.

“Don’t let how you feel make you forget what you deserve” – Kush and Wizdom

“I can’t promise to fix all your problems, but I can promise you won’t have to face them alone” – Anonymous.

“Things will feel so much better soon and you need to trust in that” – Kush and Wizdom